Rules of Engagement

I have over a decade of experience in dating. Ladies, here are some things I've learned that might help you out. (These are general rules, and I truly hope not to offend--just because the rule is often true, doesn't mean it's true in your case.)

R.1: Is his belt braided and leather? Move on; you can do better.




R.2: If his tips are spiky, frosted, and blond, then throw him back; there's a better fish in the pond.

R.3: If he's wearing any part of the sea, then he's probably not fit for thee.

R.4: If there's a ring on his thumb, he's probably dumb.

Also, don't date a guy who wears his cellphone on his belt, or wears a bluetooth headset throughout the day. I don't have rhymes for those, but, come on, it just makes sense.