Reverse Engineering

I thought of a new joke...


No, that's not right.


I thought of a new punchline...


Ready?


Ready?


Here goes:


Smells like Byzantine spirit!



Or maybe it's just turkey I'm smelling...

Some things you probably haven't thought of in a while...

Squirrel Nut Zippers
Napster
Roots Berets


Hale-Bopp
Mmmbop
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm


Sega Genesis
That old guy in Arrested Development (the band) that danced
Arrested Development (the band)


Giga Pets
The Club
Ramblin' Rootbeer


Rasta
Chums
"Not the Momma!"


That's enough. That's more than enough.

A Hard Crowd's Bathroom

This morning I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day ahead when I saw a large, very long legged spider on the floor next to me. The bolt of inspiration struck from parts beyond, and I reflexively leaned over and said in my best Paul’s grandfather’s voice: “I betchya you’re a good skimmer!”



The spider didn’t laugh. At all.

I started to worry that I had offended her with the anti-feminism reference. But maybe she had just never seen A Hard Day’s Night.

Cupid's Arrow Lost

Miss...
Hey Miss...

You don't go to Target on a Saturday night.
_____It might truly break your heart--

couples clogging aisles, holding hands,
_____and you don't have any man.

No, you shouldnta' come to Target on a Saturday night,
_____pensively pushing your quiet cart.

That woman has more kids than she can handle on her own,
_____but you might die in your apartment all alone.

Yes, I'm sorry you came to Target on a Saturday night,
_____with your already tired and aching heart,

unescorted by anyone else...
All by yourself.