Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Killer Serials--The Ghost of Al Capone is My Roommate

Part V--Dissolution

***Do Not Read Before Parts I-IV***

I had not left my bedroom for weeks and weeks. It's not only that I was afraid of Al--the last time I saw him he did vow, "I'll fill you so full of lead they'll use you for a pencil, nyah!"--but I also couldn't remember the secret knock to get into the living room. Every time I tried all I heard back was a voice from the other side yelling something like, "Nice try, copper!"

I couldn't pay my bills. The power and heat went off, but at least my cell phone service was canceled, freeing me from my real-life Geraldo haunting. The speakeasy went on by candlelight. It only added to the allure and the dolls said it all seemed more dangerous and romantic.

Meanwhile I nearly starved to death, living only off of cough drops from my medicine cabinet, water from my sink, and remnants of gin that a ghost named Vinny comes in and makes in my bathtub.

Al had a good thing going. With me out of the way, he had the only 1920s-era-supernatural-speakeasy in the building, maybe on the whole block. His empire was growing day by day, but, in his haste to get back on top, Al forgot to pay his H.O.A. dues.

After an appropriate administrative process, Al and I were evicted by the Chicago P.D. I lost my job and my home, but, most importantly, I also lost Al.

As I walked away he yelled something about turning me into "minestrone soup" if I ever double crossed him or cut back into his territory. Typical Al. He would almost be tolerable, lovable, if he weren't so willing to take human life for profit.

My new home used to be a Hallmark Store. Me and all the precious moments figures gone by should get along just fine.


Holdinator said...

Precious Moments and Willow Tree are slightly less intimidating than Al Capone's ghost, I suppose.

By the way, remember that question you asked me at my store about any of the 12 writing a book that wasn't a collection of talks? We just got one from Elder Oaks, all about the name of the Lord.

Anyway, I thought that might interest you.

Daniel said...

First, thanks. That's good to know.

Second, I love that you commented here. When I was writing this last fairly uninspired post I thought to myself, "I might as well just email it to Brian."

Holdinator said...


What's strange is that I haven't read any blogs in weeks, but thought to myself, I wonder if Daniel's posted more of that story, and lo and behold ... !

becky said...

great story!