Friday, January 21, 2011

The Set Up II

Here is the current deal:
  1. It's the weekend.
  2. Despite being brilliant, relatively in shape, financially sound, witty, good looking, and not at all obnoxious...
  3. I still have absolutely no plans.

While the rest of you are managing bath night, the changing of diapers, and trying to locate a babysitter for the weekly rekindling of your marital flame, I got nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Let's peak behind the wizard's curtain. Great and terrible, come look at my social life...

January is 20 days old and despite having a full-time job and numerous church responsibilities, I have managed to read about 1,700 pages of books or magazines, watched the seventh season of Monk, am halfway through the eighth season, took a vacation and spent a full day driving in the car, and did it all on my own.

When I wrote my original "Set Up Contract," I intended to suppress offers. It has worked. It has worked very, very well. After more than a year, when faced with the contract only one person has persisted. (And he was disqualified for failing to meet the due diligence clause.)

I'm beginning to think the contract works too well.

Here is the new experiment:

Anyone wishing to set me up may do so sans contractual agreement, however, I sincerely ask that you go through three simple steps.

  1. Make a list of the five smartest women that you know. ANY women.
  2. Make a list of the ten most attractive women that you personally know. ANY women.
  3. If any women is on both lists, and is single, and has aspirations for a temple marriage, and is AT LEAST 22.5 years old, I would love to meet her.
Is this still ridiculous? Yes. Is it demanding and unreasonable? Yes. But I've learned through sad experience that when people want to set me up with a woman, generally the main thing she and I have in common is someone's mutual pity. And that is also ridiculous and unreasonable.

Fire, meet fire.


Holdinator said...

The series finale of Monk is really great. I think it was at the end of the 8th season, right? Anyway, it's awesome.

I've never attempted to set anyone up. I, um, just don't think I'm qualified for that. Maybe this will work though.

Jesse Harris said...

Our problem is that we know a lot of great eligible guys and not a lot of great eligible women. A few years ago, we had the opposite problem. Hang in there and the pendulum will swing the other way.

BonnieJean said...

Does she have to live within the united states? I know two Russians,and one Mongolian. By the way.. I love Monk too.

Daniel said...

Bless you, Holdaway. I'm really excited for the season finale. I've heard good things.

Jaci said...

I highly agree! It is not unreasonable to want more than being single in common! Nothing makes more for an awkward date than "so... uh... your single too?" and then silence for two hours.

emily said...
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Daniel said...

Jaci, here is wisdom I was taught:

All first dates should be lunch dates. If it goes really well, then you can always meet together later. And if it is not going so well, it is perfectly respectable to wait thirty-five minutes and say, "Well, I really need to get back to work."

Jaci said...

I will have to follow that from now on! I use to do movies on the first dates that way if you didn't have anything to talk about you still had something going on, that was until some guy wouldn't stop trying to tickle me in the movie.
First dates=lunch dates! Thanks!

Janelle! said...

There are a TON of amazing single women out there! And I don't know what you'd classify as beautiful, because there are all kinds of beautiful. Dainty can be beautiful, strong and fit can be beautiful, tall or short can both be beautiful, shy or outgoing can be beautiful... but any way you look at it, there are a lot of great single women out there.

I just came across your blog, and really enjoyed reading! Thanks for the enlightening writing. You have a gift!

Daniel said...

Thanks, stranger.

And I agree, there are a ton of great single women out there. I never doubted that. I did doubt the selectivity of others, and, as I've explained elsewhere, I thought seeming to be ridiculously, unreasonably demanding would scare people into being a little more selective. It did not.

But there are undoubtedly many great, wonderful, all-kinds-of-beautiful single women out there.

Janelle! said...

Ah, yes, I see your reasoning to being selective. I admit I have been there too, as far as being set up with the wrong people. Smart idea to make a list.

Being set up seems to be the only way people who are entrenched in careers can safely meet someone who supposedly could have similar interests. Especially for someone like me, who works generally with just women. (Elem. teacher) But it is nice to see you are still trying! I worry that many have given up on dating. But it sounds like you haven't, and you also haven't given up on finding what you truly want. Awesome. With that spirit, you can't go wrong.

Daniel said...

I am a man of many skills. I'm sure I can still find a number of ways to go wrong.