The problem with set up offers, I thought, was that people are not as selective on behalf of others as they are for themselves. I realized quickly that, "I know someone perfect for you," roughly meant, "Hey, I know at least two single people."
So I began nursing a little theory the last week. The idea was that if I sounded picky and demanding enough--like an elitist snob--then I could scare off those without well considered set up recommendations.
While I seriously doubted anyone would make lists of the five smartest and the ten most attractive women she knew, I did think the request would at least inspire something besides the lowest common denominator (single status). I thought I might ensure thoughtful recommendations.
My theory was incorrect. Lesson learned.
Apparently to many people I know this:
Anyone wishing to set me up may do so sans contractual agreement, however, I sincerely ask that you go through three simple steps.Is indistinguishable from this:
- Make a list of the five smartest women that you know. ANY women.
- Make a list of the ten most attractive women that you personally know. ANY women.
- If any women is on both lists, and is single, and has aspirations for a temple marriage, and is AT LEAST 22.5 years old, I would love to meet her.
Please immediately send me the name of any woman you can think of, whether or not she is in rehab, is more than a decade younger than I am, or you've ever actually met her.
I do not mean to say that everyone I heard from was inconsiderate. I did get nice messages from a few thoughtful friends. However, since Friday night I have received about twenty-five set up offers, and I don't mind saying that most of them have been terrible.
Until I can think of a new and improved policy, I'm going back to the Set Up Contract, effective immediately.
Onto my goals...
1. Bedtime/Wake up goal: 37.5%
2. Book goal: 100% (The Fifth Mountain)
3. Writing goal: 0%