Monday, October 26, 2009

7 Inappropriate Confessions

Prepare for disappointment. Not inappropriate in the sense of scintillating tales of moral indiscretion, rather inappropriate in that these are things I shouldn't feel any need to confess, and yet... I do. Almost daily.

1. I cannot finish a half gallon of milk before it expires. I've been trying for years, and while I have flirted in the high ninety-percents of completion, I have yet to seal the deal.

2. I never completed Super Mario Brothers, and I really, really tried. It was the only video game I owned for a year.

3. I hate and cannot stand reality tv--in fact I've never watched an entire reality tv show on my own--and yet, filled with some self-loathing, I have watched hours of it because of female companionship. (There is one exception to this, but that I will not confess.)

4. I don't know what band you are talking about. Furthermore, it took me a few minutes to figure out you were talking about a band.

5. I haven't seen the movie your talking about, and there is a 90% chance I really don't want to--it's violent, hyper sexual, inane and/or people say bad swears a lot.

6. But I would still watch Caveman, staring Shelly Long and Ringo Starr, and I am well aware that it falls into at least two of the above criteria.

7. I've seen the movie Caveman.


Brittany said...

You're a disgustingly talented writer and I am jealous of you. There, I said it.

Daniel said...

You have no need for jealousy, but I will take that compliment and run because I really needed one today. Thanks, friend. You're the best.

Holdinator said...

Have you seen that one movie about that one band?


Me neither.

Anonymous said...

Caveman probably doesn't have swears, does it? I mean, I don't remember English being in it, really.

Different movie? Maybe. I have a bad memory.

So I just saw Beetlejuice tonight. That's how often I see a movie.