Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Value of Adversity and Rockets

I'm really, really busy right now. I'm woefully behind on everything and I will, in fact, not be able to catch up. In my academic, financial, and social life, it's not a matter of restoring and healing: it's a matter of slowing the bleeding or making the cancer of my ineptitude and incapability spread at a more manageable rate.

I know what it sounds like, but I'm not complaining. I'm somewhat of a narcissist, I'm fascinated by me, and I tend to learn the most about myself in adverse conditions.

Let's be clear; I'm no Fred Nietzche. I don't believe that whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I don't have an endless amount of resources, resiliency, or a crazy mustache. There are a number of things that are kind of like A.I.D.s, but for character--they do not kill you, but make you weak to the point that common ailments can finish the job. There are a lot of silly ways people can blow strength, or at least waste a lot of time.

Super Mario Brothers in the late 80s neither killed me nor made me stronger. I don't know if Nietzche would've changed his mind if he had a nintendo entertainment system.

But I digress...

Today I have/had 17 pages of paper to write, endless hours I should spend outlining, and class or two that I should've attended. But I didn't.

Today I learned something about me: I think it is more important to drive two hours into the desert to watch a space shuttle rocket be tested, than it is to study law. The motor was loud, warm, and threw up a cloud of dust thousands and thousands of feet high. I laughed like a child until I started to cry. It burned for 122 seconds.

Today I have a better sense of who I really am.

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