These are things I have been holding in and I'm here to unburden myself. There are no crimes, only things I haven't shared.
1. I'm sorry Person X, but I find your endless and unrelenting cheerfulness and optimism uninteresting. Some things are worth recognizing as unfortunate.
2. Person Y, your enthusiasm for the Color Code is a huge turn off. Must every conversation come back to reds, blues, yellows, and whites, and is that really how you want to understand the world?
3. I was a ten-pound baby, and not the slightest bit chubby, I had no hair until I was four, I slept in cardboard boxes, and my dad has never once changed a diaper. This should explain a few things.