Signs of Aging

For me the signs of aging aren't so much the appearance of wrinkles or my north-climbing hairline. The clear mileposts are coming from within.

Here is today's proof that I am becoming an old man:

1. I'm really bothered that young people don't know how to write a letter and have never learned the flower of speech.

2. I just used the phrases "young people" and "flower of speech." I also commonly use the phrases "belle of the ball," "bee's knees," "gangbusters," and "picture show."

3. The office manger did not understand my Magnum P.I. costume.

4. My posture is at 60 degrees.

5. I'm now invited to more funerals than wedding receptions.

6. I'm constantly in dress socks, and have begun mixing dress socks with casual clothes because I can't be bothered to bend low enough to solve the problem.

8. I assume your on drugs.

9. Spokesmen and women are no longer recognizable.

10. Much of my day is spent loudly talking at the technology around me.