Pancakes

Scout Master Bob* once told me, "Always remember no matter how thin the pancake, there are always two sides." Then he told a story about how he thought his wife misplaced something, there was some kind of marital discord, and, lo and behold, the item had actually fallen behind the dresser.

I've remembered that throughout the years because I've never seen someone be so darn serious when talking about pancakes.


But I do like pancakes as a symbol for duality. Even if they weren't (basically) two-sided, they are an item that inherently lends themselves to mixed feelings. As Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P.) once said, "As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes... all exciting at first, but then by the end you're [darn-tooting] sick of 'em."

Yes, pancakes are two-sided all around.

In the spirit of pancakes, here are two things I have mixed feelings about.

Old People

I love the way old ladies grab the underside of my elbow. I don't know why they do this, but they do, and it's great.

I'm not so much a fan of the way old men often shake my hand throughout the length of a conversation.

Movers and Shakers

I love seeing people out and about walking, running, and biking. It gives a neighborhood energy and I'm all about activity.

I'm not so much a fan of the large people I'm seeing on bicycles these days. Yes, get out and ride a bike. Yes, burn some calories in a low-impact way. No, you don't need to dawn the neck-to-knee spandex. Aerodynamics is neither a factor nor flattering.

*Whose real name was Kerry, but whom we so unrelentingly called "Scout Master Bob" that when later speaking to our church congregation he was announced as "Scout Master Bob." Shortly thereafter he moved.