Blind Ambition

I've been wearing a lot of ties to work this week. I don't have to. In fact I don't even have to wear shoes. (And many times I don't.)

But lately I've been wearing a lot of ties.


A coworker asked why I was dressing up. I thought for a few seconds, but I didn't have anything to say. So I thought for another few seconds. "I think it's a physical manifestation of pent-up ambition."

Lately my craving for some new enterprise has ranked ahead of cravings for:

• Pie
• Milkshakes
• Naps
• Peace and Quiet
• Kissy Face

This is BIG. On a personal Richter scale, this is Japan-rattlingly big. It weighs on me. I've been wandering around the house and office and anywhere else I wander saying, "I need a second job... I need a second job... What else can I do?" I've even gone to picturesque settings, looked past horizons and over valleys, and struck thoughtful poses while waiting for ambition's call to strike like lightening.

Nada.

This has been an on-going frustration of my adult life: I feel so perfectly suited for some distinguished work, but I have no idea what that work might be.

I know this is egotistical. I know I AM egotistical. But I'm open to suggestions. What should I be? What should I do? The world should be my oyster; I need to find a way to pry this sucker open.